And so life goes on... Part 1,356

I've had my engagement ring re-sized. A couple of weeks ago, I was searching for some legal document and came across the guest book from Adam's funeral. I looked through and was just completely overcome by all the signatures. God. There were a lot of people there. There were a lot of people who loved him. I loved him. Love him. Always will. Don't suspect that will ever change, and wouldn't want it to. I didn't expect to find this book, and it hit me like a punch in the chest. No one ever prepares you for how physically painful it is to grieve for someone you love, so very much.

So, I had a complete meltdown, and the next day I walked into the jewelry store, all set to have my ring re-sized. I've still worn my rings on my left hand. Boyfriend and I joke about it sometimes, because he doesn't have a ring, and so we wonder if people think he's having a scandalous affair with a married woman, and this makes me laugh. I have a sick sense of humor. That could be a post on it's own someday, and might well be, if y'all are interested in hearing about the way I torment relative strangers on an occasional basis.


Ok, I walk into the jewelry store, determined not to cry about this. It's time. I need to move this ring (engagement, wedding band being saved for diamonds I am going to have made from Ad's ashes) to my right hand. As any sane woman would, I begin by heading to one of my favorite parts of the store- the case holding tsavorite gemstones. I love Tsavorite. If you're not familiar, it's a green garnet. For more info on them, click here.

I try on a couple of gorgeous rings, briefly consider an antique looking square cut Tsav and diamond ring, but then realize I do, in fact, have to eat... and so I thank the nice lady, all full of that happy glow one gets from wearing, if only briefly, beauteous gems, and head to the service counter.

The woman who helps me is also named Anne, and asks me how she can help. I tell her I need my ring re-sized, and slowly remove it from my left hand. She remarks that it seems to fit perfectly, and I explain that I am moving it to my right hand, which is larger. Then, because I feel it's important to explain why I am doing this, that this is the only reason for me to ever do this, I explain that I was widowed and it is time to move the ring to my other hand. She proceeds to burst into tears. Oh God. Then she remarks to the woman working on something behind her that my husband had died, and how young I am... and this other woman, whose name I did not catch, also begins crying. I, miraculously, am not crying yet. But then they ask what happened- "was he in the service?" - which I get a lot... and I explained he was in an accident. And then the older woman, said, "Oh, I hope it was quick for him, then" and I had to say, no, it was not quick, and that got ME crying. So now the three of us a crying like idiots and there is a fairly impressive sized line forming behind me. But screw them, they're not here because some old lady killed their husbands. Ok, well they could be, but I doubt it.

I then explain what I want on the band... AJB, which was both of our initials, our wedding date 07-05-04 and then an infinity symbol. She didn't know what one was, and the explanation of "a sideways 8" didn't seem to cut it, so I drew it for her.

They sent it off, to be rezied to a 5 to fit my right hand (I've got small fingers), and that was that.

I picked it up last week, and it still feels strange having a naked left hand.

Here's the ring, and I'm impressed with the macro settings catching my fingerprint ridge details here...





When we went ring shopping, I tried this ring on, jokingly saying I'd wear it forever, and it seemed a perfectly reasonable amount to spend... It turned out that Ad got a very impressive bonus at work, and so he really shocked me when on Christmas morning, in front of my whole family (they knew, he asked for their blessing the night before), I opened this ring. And managed a "yes" once I stopped crying!

Here is a photo of the engraving. It's a little hard to see, but it was hard to photograph. I think they did a nice job with the infinity symbol.



So now I have it on my right hand. I love this ring. Love, love, love it. I love it for itself, for its beauty and scintillation, and the way the three diamonds are a Bostonian (De Beers marketed it as "Past Present Future")setting and we met in Boston, and how the three diamonds perfectly line up with the width of my finger... and how every time I look at it I remember the first time I put it on, and what it meant, and what it will always mean to me.

Jokingly I said I'd wear it forever, and it was worth every penny. But it was the truth. I will wear it forever, and to me, it's priceless.