Sunday, September 23, 2007

Crawling Toward Normalcy

Thank you all for your nice comments on the mosaic pieces. I am planning on doing up some small mirrors and possibly some frogs/mirrors for sale. We'll see how that goes.

I've been on the antidepressants for about a week now, and so far, so good. The main side effect has been exhaustion. I started on half a pill for the first week, and each time I'd take one, it was like I'd taken a sleeping pill. Then that started to get a little bit better, and then it was time to up the dose to a full pill, so I've started all over again with feeling exhausted again. Drugged exhausted, which is different from auto-immune-exhausted, and also different from depression-exhausted. But it's no big deal, I just crawl into bed with a book and sleep. It's crazy tired, though, I mean, even knitting is too much effort, so you know that's seriously tired. But I expect it will get better in time. I can't say I feel less depressed yet, but I know that will take some time, as well. And I am ok with that.

The only other noticeable side effect, which I knew would be an issue is the way alcohol effects me. Now, I'm not much of a drinker. I've always been a cheap date (in every sense, since I am allergic to fish/shellfish and with the Crohn's, can't tolerate filet mignon any longer!) but now it's ridiculous. When the Moose and I watched Snakes on a Plane, I had one and a half glasses of wine, and was totally off my head. Which was a good thing, let me tell you. That movie was crap. But I was drunk enough to get all excited for the infamous..."That's it! I've had it with these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!" line. WOOO! Yeah, Moose laughed her ass off at me, on her third bottle of hard cider, and not in the least tipsy. What are you going to do?

The only other time I was this effected was when I was on the steroids, the last Christmas with Adam, and we were at my parents house for the holiday. I had bleeding ulcers in my stomach, from the Prednisone, and decided to have -literally- two sips of wine with dinner. Upon which I started laughing hysterically, and fell off my chair. Yeah. Alcohol straight into the bloodstream is an interesting experience. We all had a good laugh at that one.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I've danced on tables in Savannah on St. Patrick's Day,

That's me on the far right. I don't know who the guys are. That's when I dyed my hair black, which I quite liked, but my father called me "Elvira" until it grew out.

There are more incriminating photos, but I'll spare you. I will, however, share with you this photo of the ladies room at the Ritz in London. I sneakily took this to show my mom when I went for tea once. Swanky, no?

And so, my friends, the point of that last photo is, that crawl though I may, I'll never really reach "normalcy" and I'm totally ok with that. I'll always be the kind of gal who takes photos of swanky bathrooms, because, well, why not?

In other good news thoughts, I didn't cry at all today, or yesterday. So, progress!

In other crappy news, a song I put on a Valentine's Day mix for R is now playing over and over and over again on a commercial, which is kind of a bummer. But you know, some things you just can't escape from. Even with medication.

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Blogger Josiane said...

What fun would "normal" be? :) If total normalcy could be reached by taking that drug, they really should mention it in the unwanted side effects list!
I hope the exhaustion won't affect you much longer, and that the desired beneficial effects will soon replace this and any other side effects.

12:05 AM  
Anonymous tiennie said...

I'm glad you're taking care of you and getting closer to being OK!

2:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

{{HUGS}} No one is normal! I'm glad you are working on it with the meds and I hope things work out well. It's important to take care of yourself

7:22 AM  
Blogger soapy said...

hmm normalcy?? Whats that!@!??

Hope you feel better quickly!
I'm off the rem have been refusing treatment since I had to have liver biopsies and don't like the results!!! DR says I have to get back on it asap!!! hmm It's not been to much fun! NO shellfish here! Get deathly ill!! You do know that alcohol isn't good for people like us with CD you! I got a butt reamed at the liver ctr with 2 DRs over the summer!! OUCH!

Hugs! Take care!

ohhh Love the tea room!! Fancy smancy

8:05 AM  
Blogger Holly said...

I'm glad that you're the kind of girl who takes pictures of swanky bathrooms - otherwise I'd never have a chance to see them. I think we all strive for normalcy in one way or another, but I'm not sure that it exists. I think the closest we can all hope to get is just by embracing who we are, which is exactly what you seem to be doing. I hope the meds work their charms and make you less sleepy. You must find time for more knitting!

8:15 AM  
Blogger Jo said...

Okay, take off the Valentine's mix and put on some silly 80's pop songs. And we want to see the more incriminating photos...

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

Normalcy is so fucking overrated. <3

9:58 AM  
Blogger Beverly said...

I tried for many years to feel normal, with no success. At some point, I just decided that it was time to redefine what normal meant to me, and now I am much more content with my life.

Hang in there with the meds. Everything will even out eventually. Better living through chemistry! (says my dad. and DuPont.)

1:10 PM  
Anonymous jennifer said...

Even though your dad called you Elvira, I think the black hair looks lovely on you.

10:07 AM  
Blogger Annie said...

Thanks, everyone! I liked the black hair, too. ;)

Oh, I'm not listening to the mix, the song is on an Old Navy ad, and they keep showing it, over and over and over...

11:58 PM  

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