My OSSP Really Does ROCK!!

I got another package from my AMAZING One Skein SP today. She ROCKS. I don't know who you are, but I love you!!




Check out the amazing Lorna's Laces yarn- 2 skeins, and a book on how to do the magic loop technique to make socks! Woo hooo!!


Look at the color of this yarn- one of the photos is a little blurry, but I like it- it's soft, like this yarn!!


Seriously- look at these colors! It's the Watercolor Colorway...


She also sent me Socks That Soar on Circular Needles by Cat Bordhi...and two sets of the new Knit Picks Circs so I can give this method of sock knitting a go- I've never actually knit a sock before, so I'm SO excited!


She also sent me a novel I've been eyeing for what seems like ages- I cannot wait to read it!



There is also a magnet from Disney (apparently a clue about her) and one of those magnetic toys where you give the guy hair with iron shavings, which will entertain me for hours, and loads of candy, which I'm working my way through steadily...
And a card, explaining that she's having too much fun to send me my final knitted item... I am NOT complaining.

I really have been SO lucky- this is the first swap I've been a part of, and I am so very, very lucky that she got me. I feel like it's Christmas come early!! THANK YOU!!!

Every once in a while...

someone takes a photo of me, and I really like it.
Here's one.

Another list!

Taken from Wendy's blog- (See Candles, Yarn and Catnaps at right- her candles really do rock, by the way...)

Is your hair up?: Yes. It usually is.

Is your phone right beside you?: Yep. Hard to move quickly, so I usually have it next to me.

Do you wish you were somewhere else?: I do.


Do you have plans for tonight?: Painting the bathroom. It's about freakin' time!!

Are you wearing makeup?: Nope.

Are you wearing chapstick?: No, but I should be.

Are you cold?: No, I'm comfy just now.

Are you tired?: Yes.

Are you excited?: My in-laws are coming from the UK on Thursday, and I'm looking forward to it!

Who's the last person that called you? My sister in law, in England.


PAST

Anything you regret?: No. I think regretting things you cannot change is a waste of time. I try and focus on the present and future.

Ever lied?: Yes.

Ever stuck gum under a desk?: Nope.

Ever spit at someone?: Ugh. No.

Ever kick something living?: My sister, I'm sure!! We used to throw down as kids!

Ever had your nails done?: I try to have them done regularly.

Ever thrown up because you cried so hard?: Yes.


TODAY

Have you cussed?: Damn right I have.

Have you yelled at someone?: Nope. I don't yell very often


Have you gotten mad at someone?: No

Have you cried?: Yes.

Have you called more than 3 people?: Yes.

Have you IMed more than 3 people?: No.

Have you eaten anything gross?: I never eat anything gross.


SPILL YOUR GUTS: .......

Q: First thing you did this morning?: Made coffee.
.
Q: Last thing you ate?: A bowl of cereal

Q: What's something you look foward to in the next 6 weeks? Spending time with my in laws.

Q: What's annoying you right now?: All the stuff I have to try to do before they get here!


Q: Who is the last person you called?: my Mom

Q: Been cheated on? Yes.

Q: Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? Yes.

Q: Choose one to have (love, beauty, creativity): Love.

Q: Do you wish on stars?: Of course.

Q: Does it work?: Not really.

Q: Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off: Almost never.

Q: When did you last cry?: This morning.

Q: Do you like your handwriting?: Sometimes.

: Are you a friendly person?: Yes.

Q: Are you keeping a secret from the world?: Ha ha! I wish. Nope. I'm an open book. Different people know different things about me, but no big secrets.

Q: Whos bed did you sleep in last night?: Mine

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?: green


Q: Do you have any pets? Cecil, a White's Tree Frog

Q: What is the color of your bedsheets?: White

Q: What were you doing at 9 last night?: Home

Q: last person you talked to?: My father in law just called to say hello.

Q: When is the last time you saw your dad?: Last week. Spoke to him this morning.

Q: Look to your left: Window

Q: Ever cried yourself to sleep?: More often than I'd like.

Q: Ever cried on your friends shoulder?: Absolutely.

Q: Song that makes you cry?: I Grieve by Peter Gabriel, I Get Along Without You Very Well (except sometimes) by Nina Simone, This Woman's Work by Kate Bush

Q: Are you a normally happy person?: I think so.

Q: Is your self-esteem low?: It took a beating last year.

Q: What color are your eyes?: Sort of a deep green with brown edges. So, hazel.

Q: Long or Short Hair?: Longish

Q: Current Music?: Death Cab for Cutie, Arctic Monkeys, Teddybears, Tegan and Sara, Blue October, Evanescense.

Moose and The Llama

My sister, Moose, who is one of the coolest chicks around, allowed me to post these photos. These were taken in PA, and there was this fabulous Llama I needed to photograph. Moose was wary of the Llama, absolutely sure it would either spit on her or eat her hair. I did convince her to stand next to it, though. It was hard to get these photos, as I was between 2 animal pens and couldn't back up anymore.
The resulting photographs KILL me. I think Moose and the Llama have the exact same looks upon their faces... every time I feel blue I look at these pictures and have a good laugh.

Wanderlust...

There are so many places I want to go. So very many. I have been to more places than most Americans, but not nearly enough to satisfy my own desire to travel, to see places and people and cultures.

Here are some travel photos.

Feeding a goat for sale in Amish country, PA.






Penn's Cave, PA





In front of Big Ben- my first trip to the UK


In the Courtyard of Worcester Cathedral, Worcester, UK




My sister and I on Elbow Beach, Bermuda


Horseback riding up the Old Hills, England, Christmas Eve 2005


The Cotswolds, England







Paris, 2006





Inside Notre Dame, Paris, 2006




At a Cemetary in New Orleans, 2004



Lara Beach, on the Akamas Peninsula, Cyprus.

Birthday...

Today my husband would have been 34. It's a tough day. I think this day will always be hard.

5 Books You Should Read!

Ok, I could go on and wax poetic about all sorts of classics and the merits of reading them... I was a lit major, so I could go there. But I'm not gonna. The following are five books that I just fucking love. Full Stop. I'll try to post this often, since I read an awful lot...
Click on any of the following to be taken to Amazon.





The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger.
I love this book. My One Skein SP sent it to me, and this is the first time I've ever suggested a book I haven't finished, but I'm loving it. Read it.





Oranges by John McPhee
John McPhee is perhaps my favorite non-fiction author. This is an entire book, about oranges. You'll love it. I promise.




Wish You Well by David Baldacci
I really enjoy Baldacci's usual political thrillers, but this book is a really touching and beautifully written human drama.





Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
The great thing about not having read this book, is that there are six in the series so far! They're long and meaty and detailed and fantastic. So once you read the first in the series (more romantic than the others, but they all rock)... you can run out and buy and read the other five before having to wait for the next one!!



The Count Of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas
I said this wasn't about classics, and it really isn't. This book is so, so wonderful, and it is not ponderous, slow or difficult to comprehend. It's a page turner, and one I re-read every other year or so. Buy a copy ASAP!!


Ok, there's five for ya. I'm not getting into detailed reviews. Maybe you like one of the authors above, and it'll help you find someone you haven't read before. Happy Reading!!

I hate how clean the house is...

So. Today was kind of tough. I had a meeting with my orthopedist... my arthritis doctor. I had a bone density test, which wouldn't be such a big deal, except by the time I got to the dr's office I was in a lot of pain from driving, and my back, knees and hips were killing me. My pain tolerance is getting higher, I think. Fair enough.
So I met with the good doctor, and he thinks that I may have a nerve being affected by the inflamation in my spine, which is causing the shooting pains, rather than the usual hot poker pain. Need to schedule a MRI.


Ok, so after I meet with the Dr., I go to have bloodwork done. The woman drawing the blood was very nice, and commented on my engagement ring. I get a lot of comments on my ring, usually just "wow, I love your ring" or some such thing... but she took my hand, and looked at it closely, and then looked me in the eye and said "Someone sure loves you a lot, hmmm?"

And I burst into tears. It was the kindest compliment anyone gave me about the ring, and a totally absurd one, because had he given me a ring from a cracker jack box it wouldn't mean any less to me. It just corresponded that the engagement ring shopping came just after he'd received an unexpectedly large bonus at work, so he surprised me with something a lot bigger than I ever expected...

It was just... the way she said it was with such kindness, and then she was so shocked when I told her he did love me a lot, but he's gone now...

So I cried through that, and all the way home. And 5 minutes after I arrived home, the cleaning people my mother arranged to come to the house arrived.

I buried myself in a book in the garden, but this hurt the joints even more...and I came in to a much tidier house. And before they left, the women who cleaned the house said that they were going to pray for me, because they could see how much I was hurting. They're Brazilian, and one didn't speak any English, and I thanked them and hugged them, and then Lucy, who didn't really speak any English took my hands and put her other hand on my head and begin praying very, very emotionally, in Portugese. I understand enough Portugese to get the drift, and I was so touched that I began crying again, and had a hard time stopping. This went on for a good five to ten minutes, with her asking God to take the pain from my heart and my head, and make me well again. Then they left me. In this horribly clean house.

And now I can't stop crying. Adam was a neat freak. He liked things really tidy, and I am, by nature, a clutterbug. He'd usually get up early and clean, or I'd come home from work, and start dinner, relax for an hour and then tidy up before he came home... or when he was out riding on weekends, I'd bum around all day, knitting, reading in my pj's, watching crap tv I'd recorded... and then before he came home, I'd clean for an hour so everything was tidy when he'd arrive.

Now the house is looking pretty damn tidy. And I think I get why it hasn't been for such a long time. He isn't going to come home. I mean, I know that. I know he's never coming back. I get that. I just... I don't really see the point of much without him sometimes. There's this lonliness that comes over me sometimes, and I don't quite know what to do with it. I really don't.

Mostly I'm ok these days. But then I have days like this. When I can't stop crying, and I hate myself for it. And I'm sick of being sick and being in pain, and feeling like I am just torn up inside.

And I'm not sure why I write this here. Maybe there will be someone else who has lost someone and they'll read these occasional posts of misery and they'll know that someone else knows what it feels like.

I know I'll be ok, and I do have amazing love and support in my life. And mostly, I am as happy as I can be. But days like this are really, really, really fucking tough.

How unlucky am I?

I'm just getting over a fairly nasty sinus and tonsil infection. Now, the tonsilitis may seem odd, because I had my tonsils removed four years ago. That was a complete nightmare, as having your tonsils out as an adult is incredibly painful. But alas, the left one is growing back. Yep. GROWING BACK.

Certain parts of tissue in our bodies can regenerate. Skin is one of them. This is why we heal after cuts. The liver is another, you can have a part of your liver removed, and it will grow back. Unfortunately the tonsils are another one. And mine is coming back. It's small right now, but it'll have to go. I'm on pretty hard core immuno-suppresants right now, so it'll have to wait until the Crohn's and/or AS get into remission, and then out with the damn spawn of tonsil!!


So because of this unfortunate infection I'm now past-due for my remicade infusion, and it's getting bad. Really hard to drive, walk, etc. Am trying not to take the pain meds, as they make me dizzy and I can't knit on pain killers....

I have an infusion scheduled for Friday and hopefully the fever, which I seem to have finally gotten rid of, will stay gone.


I'm working on the second "fetching" glove for my One Skein SP. Yep, my package is coming late, and she's been fine with that. Between my illness and Dad's cancer, it's been a little bit hectic and hard to knit lately.
Here's my progress so far. (note my little fishy stitch marker, from Tiffany!)









I am hoping to also make her a matching headscarf. The yarn is Kurasawa from Artfibers, and I love it. Gorgeous yarn!! I bought 2 skeins, so hopefully there will be plenty for the fetching gloves and the hairscarf... we'll see!!

Garden Photos

Here are some photos of the garden we planted for Adam, taken today...

Roses are tricky, and the Spring was not kind to them. We had months and months of seemingly non-stop rain followed by intense heat, and the poor roses rotted and died and I was afraid I'd lose them all... but we've finally had some lovely weather and the roses have responded in kind...







I also have a Rose of Sharon. We didn't know we even had a Rose of Sharon. It was found during the garden planting, buried inside the most massive forsythia, ever. We planted Adam's garden on September 10 last year, and it didn't bloom for a couple weeks after that, but it DID bloom.
This year I waited for the buds to appear. I saw beautifully blooming Rose of Sharon bushes everywhere, but not mine! Well, it's loaded with buds, and finally, in the first week of September, it's blooming! It's in a slightly more shady spot than it probably should be, so I'm guessing that's why it's blooming late. But I'm cool with late bloomers, having been one myself.



Here's my hydrangea- this did really well this year. Most of the blooming is over, but it put this out last week, and it's looking good!




And here's another late bloomer. A clematis vine, given by friends at the garden party. I believe it will bloom white, and dear lord, there are LOADS of buds on this vine, and it seems very happy! But when will it bloom??



(click on any of the photos to see a larger photo)


Here's my ivy. This is actually the same ivy that grows on Fenway Park. I was able to get it through the Arnold Arboretum's plant sale, and it'll turn red in the fall, so stay tuned...



And here's the sedum in bloom-


I thought it'd be more red, but I'm loving the shock of pink in the garden!

And now for the mushroom invasion! This baby is huge, and right smack in the middle of my sweet woodruff!!



And here are some more mushrooms, amid the Russian Sage and Lavender...




Here is an album with photo's of Adam's garden- before, during planting and updated often...

This is so true...

The Dash